Previous Comments
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Me, working at my desk. That's my muse, Philboyd Studge, behind me.
These are comments bumped from the front page. Time marches on. Tempus fugit. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Previous Comments
5/14/2010
Have you noticed that every attempt that BP has made to shut down the oil leak in the Gulf has involved capture and recovery? Jesse Bob's latest idea was a big pole with a ten thousand gallon balloon of Liquid Nail on the end of it. Drop that stuff into the hole, and no leak.
But BP wants the oil, no matter the cost to the environment. So now they're trying a mile-long straw.
Meanwhile, countless turtles and fish and unknown life forms in the unexplored deeps are dying. Don't know about you, but I'll drive the Ford empty before I'll stop at a BP until hell freezes over. And I can't stop at a Shell, because of Ken Saro-Wiwo, who was one of the nicest human beings God ever made. On trips these days, I use the Garmin to find Chevron stations. Let's pray they keep clean...
5/7/2010
Gotta love that BP. "Beyond Petroleum," right?
Well, not so much.
And now there's that funnel contraption they're trying to drop on the well head to stop the leak in the Gulf, while simultaneously making mewing noises about how the whole mess might really be the responsibility of some subcontractor or something.
The giant funnel plan sounds like something me and Jesse Bob came up with about a week ago, sitting around at his kitchen table with some Old English. (Malt liquor, not furniture polish, although by taste you couldn't tell.)
"A giant cee-ment funnel!" Jesse hollered. "The oil floats, right! Just drop the sum-beetch down on hit!"
"Jesse," I said in my patient voice, "Them boys got scientists who are coming up with some real plans. Not a dumb-ass cement funnel."
"Sharks with big-ass Super Glue tubes!" Jesse shouted. He was on a roll.
If the next plan involves sharks and glue, BP owes him royalties.